Experiencing the loss of a loved one can be an incredibly heavy burden, particularly for older adults. Ageing provides the opportunity to forge meaningful relationships. These connections are vital to our well-being, and when they are lost, it can result in profound feelings of sorrow.

For older adults, coping with grief can sometimes feel overwhelming. The elderly face grief and loss differently than others. If you live with a senior, then helping them through this phase may not be easy. But there are steps you can take to help.

Let’s understand more in this article.

Stages of Grief in the Elderly

Grief is a difficult and complex experience which can vary from one person to another. Each person feels and processes grief differently. However, there are five common stages that most seniors go through:

Denial

Often the first reaction to grief is denial where a senior has difficulty in processing and absorbing the fact that someone close to them is no more. They may not be able to acknowledge this hard truth at first. Sometimes, they may realise this at some level and cannot fully accept it. They may detach themselves from the situation, which can be a defence mechanism.

Anger

The next phase is anger, which can come and go while they are grieving. They may get angry at an event or a specific person, or in general feel angry towards the world. Many people may not be able to accept that they have no control over the situation.

Different people express anger differently. Seniors may misunderstand or lash out at others or isolate and withdraw themselves. Anger can also lead to physical symptoms such as a racing heart rate or muscle tension.

Bargaining

Some people go through the stage of bargaining, which can be difficult for outsiders to perceive. It can be a defence mechanism to gain control over the situation.

During this stage, they may overanalyse the time leading up to their loved one’s passing and consider different scenarios through which they may have been alive. Some people lean on religion to help them through this. Bargaining often goes hand in hand with guilt, to obtain a clearer explanation or reason for losing a loved one. Unfortunately, some people may tend to blame themselves for the loss.

Depression

Starting to accept reality can lead to depression which can result in extreme despair and sadness in some. Some seniors may experience a lack of motivation, loss of energy or a feeling of numbness. This stage may last from a few days to a few years, varying from person to person. Some seniors may not experience depression at all, but that doesn’t mean they are not affected by the loss.

Acceptance

The last stage is acceptance, when the senior comes to terms with the loss. Once they have accepted, they can resume normal activities and find ways to cope with the whole situation. They may pick up new hobbies or resume normal activities. However, it’s important not to confuse acceptance with happiness. They may still be grieving inside.

How does Grief affect Seniors?

Grief can have a severe impact on a senior’s physical and emotional well-being as well as their overall wellness. Loss can trigger a range of feelings including grief, sadness and isolation.

How to Help the Elderly Cope with Grief

Let us now look at a few effective ways in which you can help an older adult who is grieving:

• Give the person space and time: Many times, seniors may not be able to process an emotion the way younger people do. They may take time to go through each phase. If you have also lost a loved one (for example you have lost a parent and the senior has lost their spouse), then it is important to acknowledge that your pace of processing grief can be different from their pace. It’s important to give them the space and time to process the emotion in their own way.
• Spend time with them: Losing a loved one, especially a spouse, partner, or close friend, can lead to extreme loneliness. It’s important to make them feel like they are not alone. Invite them for walks, go out and have a cup of coffee with them, pick up a hobby together – spend some quality time together.
• Talk about loss: Yes, we know, this is easier said than done. It’s not easy to talk about your loss. If you are also coping with the same loss, supporting your senior may not be easy. Talk about each other’s loss separately, without undermining each other’s feelings. Lending a patient ear can make the senior feel less overwhelmed and cope with the distress in a better way.
• Point out changes in behaviour: This can help the person become better aware of their feelings and feel more comfortable with themselves as well as you.

A Final Word

You can take the help of a professional caregiving service such as TrueCare2U to care for your senior. A professional caregiver is best equipped to provide physical assistance to seniors and help them deal with the physical effects of grief.

You can also obtain professional emotional support from TrueCare2U. The app lists professional counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists who can help the seniors find their way through their grief. A comprehensive approach can help them cope emotionally as well as physically.

Sources:

• https://homesweethomeihc.com/managing-grief-in-seniors/
• https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/grief-and-loss-in-older-adults/
• https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/more/healthy-aging/seniors-health/grief-helping-older-adults-grief
• https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/health-encyclopedia/he.grief-helping-older-adults-with-grief
• https://friendshipcenters.org/coping-with-loss-bereavement-support-for-seniors/
• https://bluemoonseniorcounseling.com/stages-of-grief-in-seniors/